CHILD PSYCHOLOGY: THE ULTIMATE PARENTS’ GUIDE.

What is Child Psychology?

Child psychology refers to the study of a child’s behavior and the mind of a child. Alternatively, it can be described as the study of the conscious and subconscious part of child development. This makes one understand how a child interrelates with their parents.

Child psychologists specialize in how a child relates to the environment around them. The environment includes parents, school peers, themselves, and the entire world. This topic covers the mental, emotional and social development of a child.

 Children are the younger versions of adults, hence the need to develop their mental status positively as well as learn how to cope with the world at large. Child development shows the growth from birth to the end of adolescence.

Many characteristics define how a child differs from another, and they also dictate how to handle them. Parents find it difficult to interpret some of the behaviors depicted by their young ones. This article highlights some of the common behaviors associated with children.

Some Facts About Mental Disorders in Children.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), ADHD, behavior problems, anxiety, and depression are the most commonly diagnosed mental disorders in children. The causes of these disorders range from environmental to social to genetics. According to the CDC:

• 9.4% of children from 12-17 years have been diagnosed with ADHD.
• 7.4% of children aged 3-17 have a diagnosed behavior problem.
• 7.1% of children aged 3-17 years have a diagnosed anxiety problem.
• 3.2% of children are diagnosed with depression.
• Some of these conditions may be concurrent.

It’s very important for a parent to get an accurate diagnosis for their child. But equally important is for parents to understand some behaviors are just age-based. A child’s judgment or lack of it should not be compared to that of an adult with a fully developed brain.

A child’s judgment or lack of it should not be compared to that of an adult with a fully developed brain.

Parenting is a Balancing Act

You Should Try to Understand Your Child, and Not the Other Way Around.

It is essential to understand child psychology as a parent as it assists in guiding and nurturing a child to maturity. Also, it is crucial to note that there is a unique personality trait that remains constant and defines a child into adulthood.

Some of the behaviors which should be monitored include sleeping, eating, and playing. One thing you should consider doing as a parent is to spend ample time with your child and talk to them so that you can gain understanding and a lot of information.

Understanding young children can be complicated hence the need to know how to communicate by using facial expressions and body language. Asking questions in a friendly manner will also make them share their feelings with you.

Children tend to view parents as their enemy, and on most occasions, parents make the situation worse than better. Parents are supposed to handle different situations without being too lenient or too strict.

As we have discussed above, preteens comprise of young children who are on the exploration age, and this could lead to lots of mistakes. Parents often lack ways of handling the challenges that these young children pose. It is right to discipline a child, but there is also a limit on the level of punishment a child should be given.

Parents are supposed to handle different situations without being too lenient or too strict.

If a parent is too strict, the child will become afraid and have low self-esteem. A child needs a comfortable environment to grow, and they also need love and stability. No parent wants a pushover, but it is also necessary to drop the hammers once in a while.

Toughness is necessary, especially if it comes from a good source. Understanding child psychology helps to enhance the parent-child relationship.

Additionally, understanding child psychology can assist parents in knowing when their children are making mistakes or when they are behaving normally. At least with that information, disciplining them becomes easy.

Even in the modern world, balancing between strict and lenient can be challenging, and in most cases, parents lie in between and end up making lots of mistakes.

By taking a look at some of the contexts of child psychology, parents can learn how to understand their children’s behavioral patterns and how to handle such situations.

Contexts of Child Psychology

Child psychology contexts include the factors and situations that have an impact on a child, whether internal or external. There are environmental factors, social factors, as well as cultural factors that can influence how a child grows and behaves.

Social context

Social factors include the surrounding of a child and the people she or he relates to. That consists of peers and adults who are close to the child.

Having a relationship with people can affect how they think, learn, and grow into maturity. Therefore, it is vital to ensure the people around your child have a positive impact on the child.

Cultural context

Our societies have customs, values, and assumptions which influence how we all grow up. These factors influence the lifespan of a human being, and it is seen in how they have impacted many people from different backgrounds. Culture can also determine how a child relates to their parents, the childcare they receive as well as the type of education they get.

Socioeconomic context

There are various classes of people in society, and the difference in status has a significant influence on the development of a child.

Social status is determined by how much money a family has, the level of education, the job positions the people hold, and the place they live, including the type of house owned by a family.

Children who are lucky to be born in high socioeconomic households have access to better education, better health care, and better child care, unlike their counterparts with poor backgrounds.

However, there is an instance where children face development challenges, and that is where child psychologists play an important role, especially in assisting parents.

The professionals have the responsibility of ensuring a child overcomes potential challenges and thrive. With the introduction of technology, psychologists now have a better chance of helping children.

Parents’ Role in Child Development

As a parent, you’re the child’s first and foundational teacher. That being the case, you should try to be the one whose teachings benefit your child the most.  You should see yourself as a life coach who teaches their kids how to deal with the general realities of life.

Research shows that child development is enabled by experience and experiments. Parents need lots of information on children’s characteristics, especially if they are parenting for the first time. If a parent disregards some of the tips of disciplining a child, they often end up in the worst scenarios as adults and end up blaming the parents.

Developmental Domains

Studies in child psychology show that children have at least four development domains that parents should know. These include:

Physical Development

Physical development is the most visible aspect of child development. Parents start to notice height and weight development, which affects both motor skills. However, what most people don’t know is that what we see in the physical aspect corresponds with brain activities even though we can’t see them.

The brain plays a vital role in the development of a child as it promotes development and exploration in a child. Moreover, when there is growth and movement, the brain is also activated by stimulating the growth of new cells, otherwise referred to as neurogenesis.

The bond between a parent and a child is strong, and it makes the latter feel safe and encouraged. Children often feel safe to explore and, in turn, push for more as long as the parent is guiding them.

Some of the roles which parents do include potty training, assisting in buttoning and zipping, as well as learning how to ride a bike. In addition to the mentioned physical activities, there is a need to emphasize a healthy lifestyle.

A healthy lifestyle includes adequate sleep, a balanced diet, and doing a lot of physical exercises. For children who are under five years, regular checkups and immunizations are vital for healthy growth.

Intellectual Development

When we think of intellectual development, we think of knowledge and learning skills. However, cognitive and intellectual development focuses on brain activities, which include how we think and how we learn.

It is evident that children are curious, and once they begin to move around, they touch everything, and those who speak ask questions. As they grow up, so do their brains, which gain higher capacities to explore.

Parents should also know that children change their way of thinking as they grow up.

Children imitate what parents do as well as other people around them. That is why they are encouraged to behave positively as they tend to copy most of the physical activities.

This can be seen as a convergence between physical and intellectual domains as playing with children also means exercise and engaging in physical activities. Some of the few activities that parents may do to promote cognitive development include:

• Playing with your kids and engaging in activities which both of you enjoy.
• Introducing the child to music as early as possible and singing along the songs. They enjoy the songs and even get the interest to play some of the instruments. Moreover, a bond is usually created between the parent and the kid on such occasions.
• Art is always another way of bonding with a child, and that is why most parents buy crayons and art materials.
• Having a family game night is essential, and some of the games include card games and board games.
• Taking a walk in the park, exercise, and fresh air is a great way to bond with a child. Nature walks encourage children to open up their talents and gain interest in exploring.
• It is also essential to introduce a child into the library as soon as they join a school so they can gain an interest in reading.
• Taking a trip, preferably a road trip is also a good way of creating a healthy relationship. Along the way, visit cultural places so they can understand more of their background.

Language Development

Language is an essential aspect of a child as communication skills and it determines how people relate to the children. Excellent communication skills help the children become confident and connect with the people around them.

Language also enables them to engage in socialization at school as well as at home.

Speech and language both align with communication, and since a parent is the first personality for a child, they should guide them to understand and have knowledge of communication skills.

The main components of language include:

• Grammar, which is the use of active and past tense, is essential in child development. This is important since children can understand and communicate better. 
• Phonology, on the other hand, includes the rules which make the sequence of speech sounds. 
• Pragmatics has to do with effective communication such as greeting, apologizing, and being focused on one topic.

Social Development

The first bond is usually between the mother and the child before gradually increasing to the other people around, including the caregiver.

After delivery, the mother carries the infant for the first time, thus creating a bond. Emotional development is seen in how a child cries to get attention when the diaper is dirty or when hungry.

Parents, on the other hand, learn to differentiate the cries and respond according to the needs of the children. 

As the children grow older, parents should remain attached to their unique needs and deal with them appropriately. There are some character traits like smiling, which come naturally.

If a child is raised in a negative environment, they will grow to be defiant or withdraw from social life. Children get confident if they are encouraged or loved by the people around them.

Parents should ensure a child receives all the support and a pleasant environment.

Additionally, parents are also supposed to know what to expect at each stage so that they don’t expect too much or too little.

Here are some few points you can use your understanding of child psychology to promote social and emotional development:

• Providing empathy to the children when they are feeling low or upset.
• Showing them unconditional love at all times.
• Sharing meals as a family. 
• Teaching manners in an appropriate way.
• Engaging in outdoor and indoor games as well as having game nights.
• Encouraging them to interact with their peers.
• And finally, listening to them and talking to them at all times.

A Note on Pre-teens

There are several stages of development in children, and each step comes with challenges hence the need for parents to understand all the changes. A discussion on child psychology cannot be complete until we talk about middle childhood, which ranges from 6 to 12 years. This age group is also called preteen, and many parents face challenges trying to understand the behavioral changes.

As we have seen, child psychology is comprehensive, and it contains lots of information regarding children. The preteen group is no exemption, and parents need to learn everything they can to ensure they don’t miss out on the common traits in their children.

Middle childhood children have a broad experience since they are now exposed to school and meet lots of students from different backgrounds.

The primary goal of assessing this age group is to find distinctive characteristics, whether physical, emotional, social, or behavioral.

At least parents will know what to expect when dealing with their children.

Theoretical views on middle childhood range from psychology to sociology. Cognitive development is more depicted in this age group, and cultural diversity is affecting most of them since they interact with their peers at school.

The family also plays an essential role in ensuring a child grows in a healthy environment.

Further, this stage is known as the latency stage, which states that aggressive and sexual urges are repressed.

The main task for parents in this age category is the integration of children into society.

Tips for Parenting Preteens

When babies are small, they are cuddly, cute, and more attached to their parents, but it reaches a time when that suddenly changes, and they want nothing to do with the parents.

A preadolescence child is an independent person who feels like they are capable of making their decisions. Moreover, they become rebellious and want to push as hard as they can to see the limits set by their parents.

The children do not realize that this is the time they need the experience of their parents the most.

If there is a strong relationship between a parent and a child at this age, there will be much less turbulent adolescence.

As a parent, this is the point you need to be acutely aware that you are no longer dealing with your babies but with grown-up children who might need some space to grow and explore.

There is a need to respect your child’s needs to enhance a successful relationship. To keep the channels of communication open between a parent and a preteen, there are some of the tips shared by experts to parents:

• Parental rejection – Don’t feel rejected or unloved by your child if they suddenly become independent. It is usual for kids this age to start relying more on their friends than their parents. Parents who understand child psychology know this is normal behavior for this age. As such, they won’t misinterpret and distance themselves from their children. As soon as children notice that, they start keeping secrets from their parents.

• Special time – Setting aside special time for your child is necessary as it not only enhances the relationship between a parent and a child, but it is also used to teach interpersonal skills, which might be useful in the future.
• Criticism – It is imperative to try using an indirect approach when trying to question a child, so they don’t feel intimidated. Everybody can relate how hard it can be to be bombarded with questions. The best way to engage a child is to listen rather than talk. You might end up getting a lot of information without asking questions.
•  Another tip is to avoid being over judgmental over your kids’ actions as they always watch how their parents react to certain things. Additionally, the children also look at how parents talk about other children in terms of dressing or behaving so they can see whether the parents are harsh or critical.
• Sex and Drugs – Understanding child psychology helps in having open conversations concerning sex and drugs and ensuring they understand that it is normal to be open about such topics. This ensures that they become open, especially when they are facing challenges in their lives. Also, a lot of information and resources on sexuality are passed to the children without having serious talks, which can leave them confused.
• Activities – It is imperative to get involved in fun activities which children love, such as watching their programs and laughing at their jokes. While trying to engage in their activities, a parent could also encourage sports, which makes them active.
• Emotions – Finally, nurture your child’s emotional side. Finding the right balance between parenting and trying to please a preteen is hard. It is also hard to educate your child about their capacity to love, have friends and relationships.

Conclusion

Understanding child psychology allows you to push your child to the height you know they are capable of reaching.

Love is equal parts of the truth, compassion, and grace. It is also possible to find that in most marriages, one partner is usually lenient while the other one is always strict. The trick could be the use of putting kind and firm together. For example, a parent could tell a child, “I love you, but the answer is no.” That way, a child knows that the parents love them, but they cannot go ahead with what they want.

Some of the weaknesses which parents have in terms of kindness include rescuing their children, over pampering, overprotecting, and pleasing.

Understanding of child psychology in general is a good place to start when it comes to parenting. However, it is not the end as each parent has to deal with specific unique situations for each of their children or the ones under their care. 

Further Reading:

• Teaching Child Respect Among Siblings

Resources