ONLINE SAFETY FOR KIDS: A PARENT’S GUIDE

Online Safety for Kids 

In the year 2000, Congress passed the Children’s Internet Protection Act (CIPA) to address concerns about children’s online safety. The law encourages schools and libraries to adopt and implement an online safety policy addressing:

• Access by minors to inappropriate matter on the Internet.

• The safety and security of minors when using electronic mail, chat rooms and other forms of direct electronic communications.

• Unauthorized access, including so-called “hacking,” and other unlawful activities by minors online.

• Unauthorized disclosure, use, and dissemination of personal information regarding minors.

• Measures restricting minors’ access to materials harmful to them.

There are other online safety laws we won’t discuss here. The point of this section is to give you an example of the kind of dangers consider.

But What About Online Safety at Home?

The government is not your mother!

Although the government may pass laws on online safety, they’re not nearly enough to deal with the problem. In fact, the most important thing is what you as a parent do for your child’s online safety.

Let’s agree that the internet is a wonderful way for children to learn and to connect with others. Unfortunately, there are many temptations and dangers online. To minimize these dangers, you must understand and communicate the appropriate online behavior. Here are some things to watch out for.

Five Signs That Your Child Is Misusing the Internet

1. Carrying Electronic Devices Around

Carrying one’s device around everywhere is something that is becoming almost normal. But a child’s constant attachment to an electronic device is not normal or healthy.

Some kids are always carrying their smartphones or other devices around. But you be particularly concerned when they do this as they move from one part of the room to another.

Your child may want to make sure that you do not see their communication, or they may simply be too addicted to put it down.

2. Being Secretive

Is your child spending hours online but sharing very little of the details with you? It is somewhat normal for children to want to withhold some personal information from their parents. However, there is a reason for concern if they become withdrawn about all their online activities.

If your child quickly shuts down their computer tabs when you walk into the room, investigate further. Likewise, if your child is erasing computer history, that’s a red flag. It may be time to talk with them about their habits relating to online safety.

3. Lack of Interest in Other “Real Life” Activities

The internet can be appealing, but it also be addictive. When your child finds it more appealing than “real life” experiences, you should do something about it.

Say, for instance, your child would rather sit at home gaming online than meet up with their friends in person. This may be an indication of inappropriate internet use. If your child who once loved basketball now sits at home, looking glazed in front of the computer, it should concern you.

4. Sacrifices Their Sleep to be Online

Children who are misusing the internet often sacrifice their sleep in order to use it. A lack of sleep can be destructive to the well-being of a growing child, and for this reason, it is very important to monitor your child’s night-time internet use.

Some children use the time when everyone is asleep to communicate with people that parents would not approve of. This behavior should increase online safety concerns.

A good idea is to have an “electronic device station”. This where every family member is required to check in their device at night and retrieve it in the morning.

5. Becomes Angry If Internet Is Removed

Your child may lash out when you merely threaten to remove their electronics from them. It is normal for a child to be upset when you take away something they enjoy. However, if their anger is quite severe, it is a warning sign that their online activity has far too important of a role in their life. Watch your child for signs of an angry response to internet limitations.

Five Online Safety Measures for Your Child

As parents, our job is to protect our children in every way. For that reason, we need to be proactive rather than reactive when it comes to online safety.

Here are five ways that you can protect your child online so that internet use can be a joy and not a burden to you and your family.

1. Always Monitor Your Child’s Internet Use

Although it can be time-consuming, be sure to keep tabs on your child’s online life.

To ensure online safety, keep the computer in your main living area, rather than a child’s room.

Always keep your child’s email passwords, and passwords for any online accounts he (or she) has.

Know what he is playing, what sites he is going on, and who he is talking to.

2. Model Honesty and Be Upfront

Don’t be deceptive when you are monitoring your child’s online use. Let them know that you will be signing into their accounts, reading emails, and tracking computer use. This way there are no surprises for your child, and he is aware that you are looking out for him. By modeling honesty, you are laying the groundwork for him to do the same with you.

3. Be Open and Honest about Online Safety

For the sake of online safety, you should never sugar-coat the dangers of the internet. For one, it’s important to give age-appropriate information. But on top of that, be sure to let your child know anything he needs to know to keep himself safe online.

Warn him about things that have happened to others, such as online bullying, identity theft, and personal harm. This way your child will not naively walk into a dangerous situation such as online grooming but will equip themselves with the necessary knowledge for online safety.

4. Have Age-Appropriate Talks About Online Safety

Online safety can be age sensitive. Sometimes, you don’t worry the same way about teens and preteens. Not only do they have different levels of knowledge and interests, but also vulnerabilities. No matter the age, speak to them about the topic regularly.

How to Discuss Online Safety with Your Teen

Talk about the Benefits

When speaking with your teen about online safety, come from the perspective of the internet having many benefits. This will help your teen to realize you’re on their side. You can’t let them think you’re simply being negative about one of the most important parts of their life.

Encourage them to use the internet for things they may not use it for already. This includes things such as job searches, school reports, information research, etc. Doing so will help your teen open their eyes to new productive aspects of the internet.

Talk about the Dangers

Although the internet is wonderful in many ways, it holds many dangers. Be honest and upfront with your teen about the dangers of the internet. One way to do this is to give them real-life examples of things that can go wrong. Such things include stolen identities and young people who have been harmed.

Help your teen navigate the right and wrong way to use the internet. Talk to them about the importance of:

• Keeping their real names off the internet.

• Not messaging with strangers.

• Never agreeing to meet a stranger in person.

Be Non-Confrontational

It’s important to be open-minded and not to approach the issue from a negative place. Otherwise, your teen will likely write off your concerns and all your valuable wisdom on the topic.

Ask for your teen’s opinions and thoughts on the matter. Often when we give our young people a chance to talk, we will be surprised at their wisdom on matters. They may be a wealth of wisdom and lead you to a new perspective.

Let Them Know They Are Accountable

Never be afraid to monitor your child’s internet use. Don’t be sneaky about it, however, or you will quickly lose their trust. Let your teen know that their internet use is open to your eyes.

Depending on the age of your teen, you should have the password of their email and other personal accounts. Also, inform them that you will be checking their activities regularly. If you surprise them, you might appear deceptive, and thereby breaking their trust in you.

How to Discuss Online Safety with Your Younger Child

Here are some ideas on how to discuss internet safety with your younger child.

Be Knowledgeable about online safety

Even very young children are generally extremely knowledgeable about the internet nowadays. Thus, your child will respect you only if you appear to know what you’re talking about.

If you appear unsure or seem to make false accusations, your child will stop listening to you. So, do your research, and come to the conversation from a place of knowledge.

Stick to the Subject

Try not to randomly get caught up in other subjects when approaching your child. Keep your message simple, and stick to it. Help your child stay focused on your main message by not dwelling on it too long.

Teach Respect Rather Than Fear

It is easy to get caught up in fear, and even not want your child to use the internet. Instead of going to this extreme, though, lay out some rules that can work for everyone.

Let your child know that while they’re still young, you are responsible for their online safety. You should also let them know that you’re the only one with the right experience to do it.

Tell them you’ll always be in the room when they use the internet. Let them know that you will always have full access to any of their accounts and online activities. Teach him to ask your permission to use new websites before he accesses them.

Give your child a set of basic rules to follow, such as:

• Never putting their personal information online.

• Not participating in online bullying.

• Never chatting with strangers.

• Always letting you know if someone tries to privately contact him or makes an inappropriate comment.

Instead of making your child fearful of all the “what ifs”, teach him the satisfaction of using the internet responsibly.

Be Honest

Although you don’t want to put unnecessary fear into your child’s life, you should be honest about the risks.

Use age-appropriate language to let your child know some of the things that can go wrong on the internet.

Let your child know that unfortunately, there are some people with bad motives. Explain how these bad guys can easily disguise themselves and fool even those who are aware and cautious.

If you keep the conversation positive, it will not fall on deaf ears. Remember it’s all about laying a firm foundation for online safety.

5. Put a Safeguard on Your Computer

Communication with your child is essential, but the internet can be overwhelmingly tempting to children. Use an internet safety program that will safeguard your child from the temptation to use the internet unwisely. As you do this, be mindful of keeping them from viewing words and images that they will never be able to forget.

There are a variety of internet safety programs that help you do just this. These programs can do a number of things such as filter pages that have bad language and inappropriate photos. Additionally, they give you a log of where your child has been online. Even better you can put a timer on each family member so that they cannot exceed their allotted time.

Conclusion

The internet can be a place to explore interests and learn many new things. It can be addictive, though, and sometimes dangerous.

Let your child use the internet, but give them boundaries and keep them safe as they discover how to be online in a safe and healthy manner.

Online safety is one of the hot and inevitable topics of our age. It is essential as we raise our children, in order to keep them safe both in their day-to-day life and online.

By ensuring online safety, you will give your child a better quality of life and be an example to pass on to the next generation.

Further reading:

• Nine things your child should never do online
• Cyberbullying and other online threats for kids
• 9 ways to prevent cyberbullying

 –Discipline Basics                                                                                     –Consider Where Your Child Struggles                                                   –Use Age Appropriate Consequences                                                     –Be Clear About Expectations And Consequences                             –One Firm Warning Is Enough                                                                 –And so much more!