Teaching sex and sexuality to your kids can be awkward—even difficult—but having that conversation is important. It’s also essential to help them understand consent, so that they grow up to be respectful and responsible adults.
Here are some useful tips to make things easier:
1. Model Good Behavior
Kids’ moods can often be unpredictable. But if they don’t want to be hugged, kissed, or held, you should respect their wishes no matter how young they are.
The same rules apply to other adult relatives. Don’t insist that your child receive affection from a family member or relative if they don’t want to.
2. The Right Words and Attitude
Teach your child the words to express themselves clearly, particularly when it comes to issues related to consent. It’s important for a child to know they can say ‘no’ and stand by it.
You should also teach them the correct attitude around the word ‘no’. Make sure they understand that if someone tells them ‘no’, they should stop what they’re doing right away instead of being defensive or angry.
3. Physical Boundaries
Disregard for another person’s physical boundaries can often lead to disregard for their consent.
Work with your child to help them understand physical boundaries, then teach them how to protect their own boundaries and be respectful of others.
4. Consent and Sexuality
When broaching the subject with teenagers, consent should be clearly linked with sexual expression and sexuality.
Teenagers are curious about sexuality, and keen to explore their own and others’, which is why it’s crucial to cultivate healthy attitudes towards sex.
For teenagers, the emphasis should also be towards active consent—which is voluntary and affirmative—rather than passive consent, which is simply the absence of ‘no’. They should understand that practicing safe and responsible sex means the following:
- Putting their partner’s needs first.
- Not pressuring their partner into consenting.
- Waiting for consent that’s freely given and isn’t a result of coercion.
- Knowing that consent can be withdrawn at any time, and must always be respected.
At Finer Space, we have a multi-faceted perspective on personal development, and it’s what sets us apart from other self development blogs. Kick your self-improvement and self-development into high gear with our posts, and reach out to us if you have any questions.
